Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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