So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
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I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
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Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
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