The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
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