bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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