I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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