we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize