I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize