You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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