I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
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