I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
He passed out mid-signature
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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