My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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