i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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