my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize