I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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