There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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