are you so shy because you have an std?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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