I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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