I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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