you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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