the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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