My room smells like vodka and shame
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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