I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
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So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
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yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
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