so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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