if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
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