dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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