I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
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I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
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if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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