I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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