That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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