Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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