it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
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He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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