You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
how can u be prego again
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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