that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
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My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
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Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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