i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
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Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
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I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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