Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize