How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
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