.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As shirtless as possible
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize