That's intense
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize