so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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