he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
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As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
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At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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