Sponge bath it is.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
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The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
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Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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