I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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