it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
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Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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