I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
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