but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
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This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
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Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize