I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
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he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
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Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize