I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Randomize