I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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