I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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