he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize