Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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