o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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